Tuesday, December 30, 2014

2015 will be my year.

I'm feeling optimistic about 2015.

I'm sure things may come along that could bend, break, or even kill me, but I'm surprisingly hopeful that I have a great year ahead.

I've recently felt a sense of renewed energy towards life - my marriage, my friendships, my job, my home, my health, my blog (!!), etc. There's a passion that I haven't felt in a long time and there's a drive behind that passion.

Halfway through this year - July to be exact - I became increasingly unhappy. Most days I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water.

On one particularly stressful day, my parents gently pointed out that I was the source of most of my stress.

I was the one agreeing to teach Wilton cake classes in the evenings, even though I have a regular job that already keeps me away from home 11 hours a day.

I was the one setting high expectations for my English Bulldog and then getting frustrated when he wouldn't cooperate. (English Bulldogs are notoriously lazy, but Otis has agility dog potential).

(Not Otis pictured.)
And although it looks like Pippa, it's not Pippa. 
Pippa can't get airborne.

I remember telling my mom how frustrated I was that the dogs were being difficult on walks, and then my mom just shrugged and said "So don't take them on walks."

Sometimes the solutions to our problems are so glaringly obvious and simple.

Basically, after that, I quit everything. I stopped teaching 3rd grade Sunday School and I told Wilton that I wasn't going to teach those cake decorating classes either. I didn't renew my gym membership. I didn't sign Otis up for the next level of agility class. I was running back and forth from Raleigh to Durham to Raleigh to Durham to Raleigh all in one day and it was wearing me thin.

One of my biggest worries of freeing up my evenings was that I would feel judged by Brian.

You see, Brian loves stress. Honestly, I've never met someone that enjoys stress as much as he does. He likes to constantly have projects, ideally several projects going at once.

I can leave for work at 6:30 in the morning, work all day, get off work, run errands, buy groceries, straighten up the bedroom, make dinner, and take care of the dogs. But the second I sit down on the couch, Brian's like "Um, do you need something to do?"


Brian is a doer.
I've learned that Doers do not like Couch Sitters.

Fortunately, I'm able to look past Brian's judgement. :-)

Recently, my biggest project has been finishing a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.
It's taking me forever and a day.
The other night as I was working (on puzzle), Brian was like "I'm in the mood for us to clean the whole house."
And you know what I told him?


Looking back on the latter half of 2014, I can't say I've done that much. I've given myself permission to do nothing and not feel guilty about it. I've had the freedom to relax, unwind, and rejuvenate.

But now, once I finish this puzzle, I feel ready to take on the world.

2015 will be my year.

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