The Facebook Poem

Five hundred friends, some I don't even know,
So I said to myself, "Man, they just gotta go!"

.....

I met him in high school. We spoke just one time.
He posts so many #hashtags it should be a crime.

(delete)

It's great that you're pregnant and due in the Fall,
But those ultrasound pics don't belong on my wall.

(delete)

Still ranting 'bout Trayvon? Well, you won't last long,
'Cause I've never thought self-defense to be wrong.

(delete)

Another selfie? You don't have enough?
I'm getting annoyed of your narcissist stuff.

(delete)

One baby picture is maybe okay,
But I don't want to see fifty new ones per day!

(delete)

I won't add your birthday to my calendar ever,
So adios, friend...I'll talk to ya never!

(delete)

My Democrat friends? They don't stand a chance,
'Cause I don't agree with their liberal stance.

(delete)

I've narrowed it down, but I've still got a bunch.
I'll delete all the ones who post pictures of lunch!

(delete)

Now some of my friends only post once a year,
It's no wonder I don't even notice they're here!

(delete)

I'll delete that couple (and also their dog),
And that girl who keeps posting that link to her blog!

(delete)

I'm almost done. Now my number is low,
But I've still got a few Facebook friends left to go!

(delete)

We dated in college and that was just fine,
But here's where I've got to start drawing the line.

(delete)

I'm getting close. Yes, I'm just about there!
I'll delete my own husband. (I doubt that he'll care.)

(delete)

This person I love, but she's starting to smother.
I've got to delete you. I'm so sorry, Mother.

(delete)

Well, everyone's gone now, and may I be frank?
I miss them all now that my Facebook is blank!