Thursday, June 6, 2013

Note to Self

Dear Self that may eventually want another dog at some point in life,

A dog will be your best friend. He will keep your secrets, lie next to you when you're sick, and let you cry into his fur when you're feeling down.

But remember, Self. Your current dog excitement is clouding your good judgement.

And here's the reasons why you don't want a dog:

He'll pee on your $500 Pottery Barn bedding the day after you buy it.
And he won't be sorry.


He will cost you, at minimum, $2,000/year.

Although your spouse convinces you otherwise, when it comes to taking care of the dog, it's all on you. The 4am potty breaks, morning feeding routines, and evenings spent at home so that the dog doesn't have to be crated for 12 hours straight - have fun with that.

When the mood strikes and you're feeling like you may want some romance with your spouse, there he'll be....

And when he's fast asleep and seemingly dead to the world, like this:


And you're feeling like this may be a good time for romance with your spouse...

You'll run into the other room, whisper "Hunny, he's sleeping. Hurry. Take your clothes off."....

But somehow, someway...he knows.
Because five seconds later....


there he'll be.

So don't cave. Use your head on this one. If you're still having second thoughts, just borrow a puppy for a week. Then give it back. Then say, "Oh yeah, now I remember....".


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