A Memorable Evening

I have so many blog posts to write: my new job, Brooke's first year, our Christmas advent calendar, my 2024 recap.

And yet the thing that prompted me to actually get some thoughts down and out of my head was a very unexpected memorable evening with friends on Sunday.

Occasionally, my friends from Articles Club will gather for non-club events. It's typically a low-key event (a movie, a concert, a book signing). Someone will throw out an invite and maybe a handful will attend. So after missing what seemed like a lot of fun outings with these girls, I said yes to my friend Stephanie's casual mention of the Historic Oakwood Candlelight Tour in downtown Raleigh. 

Four of us were available to go, tickets were purchased months in advance, and when it actually came time for this event, I had very low expectations (low expectations are key). 

I had read reviews of long lines waiting outside in the cold and only a few minutes spent in each house amidst a crowd of people. It didn't sound very appealing to be honest, and the thought of street parking in a crowded neighborhood downtown sounded even worse, but it was an opportunity to spend time with a few close friends.

So off I went on Sunday afternoon and miraculously found an easy and close parking spot - yay! We met up at the check-in house and then ventured through the neighborhood of beautiful old homes. Yes, the lines were incredibly long. We waited over an hour to get inside and only made it to 2 houses in 3 hours. But standing outside on a crisp evening and catching up with good friends made the entire waiting experience surprisingly pleasant. And then when we were actually able to go inside the houses, it was truly inspiring.

The thought and care that went into every detail of these homes was nothing short of incredible.  I think it was partly that they are old homes, so they automatically have the character that can only come with age. The decor inside each home was personal - family heirlooms, carefully selected art, items found at estate sales. Every single thing felt like it had meaning and personal touch, even down to the smells! Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I heard someone say "wow, it smells incredible" in each room. Sometimes it was cookies baking or apple cider brewing. Sometimes it was the Christmas tree. Sometimes it was a candle burning. Walking through these houses was an experience.

I've been ruminating on this for days afterwards trying to nail down what made these homes - and the entire evening - feel so special.

First, it highlighted the gratitude I have for my own home. I told my friends how fortunate I feel that I can put up one tree and hang two stockings, and yet somehow have the coziest winter house ever. It's the view, the windows, the lodge vibes, the wood-beamed ceiling, the long-horn steer, the warm fireplace -- nothing fancy (and no storage space!) needed. I am blessed with an incredible home. I feel inspired to keep working towards the personalization that makes it so special.

Secondly, it's not just about the home. No million dollars required. It's the intimacy. The warmth of the people inside. The emotional thermostat. The smells from cooking. The candlelight. It's caring for your things. It's choosing things with meaning. It's elevating your life by elevating your attention to the details.

Thirdly, I keep thinking about how this can translate to other areas. We went out to dinner after viewing these two homes, and I had one of the most memorable beers of my life. We ate at The Standard and that one beer was so special. Cold glass, salt rim, lime - they truly took an average beer and put it over the top. And I typically don't even like salt rims! Theirs was so good and so different than anything I had ever had before.  These small details elevated the beer to next level deliciousness. Having more than one of these beers would have probably decreased the amount of joy from that single drink. It's the idea of quality over quantity.

Lastly, I keep thinking about achieving that perfect balance between me and Brian. A lot of what made these homes feel special are things that Brian preaches to me constantly. Taking care of your stuff. Raising your standards. Placing value in the small things. A place for everything and everything in its place. His driving perfectionism. His attention to detail. 

And yet a lot of what I do also contributes positively to the life we are creating. My idea that less is more. My practicality. My belief that stuff is meant to be used and houses are meant to be lived in. I don't want shelves of books that I will never pick up; items I will never use. I want my home to be carefully curated.

I think Brian and I actually agree on a lot of things, which is probably why we are married, and touring these homes made me appreciate all his behaviors that typically drive me mad.

I ended the evening feeling very inspired. What small areas can I upgrade? What simple things can I elevate? Whether it's buying better ingredients, cleaning out a messy cabinet, taking time to send a card with a more personal touch. 

I want my home - and ultimately my life - to evoke these feelings of personality and warmth that can't quite be articulated, but can be felt. And what may feel effortless actually requires a lot of behind-the-scenes work. 

And to keep it very real, I got home that night feeling like I had so much to share with Brian. I came waltzing in the door while Brian was cleaning the kitchen and asked if he wanted to hear about my memorable evening, and he said "no."

So I decided to write about it in a blog post instead. :)