I Need A Substitute Husband.

Brian refuses to take professional pictures with me.

Brian, here's what you're missing:

The only semi-professional photos we have are the ones that were taken by the owner of the Sleepy Hollow Inn where we eloped. 

I know this sounds weird coming from me, since I'm not basic, but it's a tradition that I send out Christmas cards with our face on it.

Two years strong, so that means it's tradition. 

I hate this kind of stuff.

When buying these cards, I've discovered that the Shutterfly package prices are something like this:

1 card - $35

99 cards - $36

Are you friggin' kidding me? I'm only in the market for five!

So, I need a picture for this year. 

Recently, a family friend who is an amazing photographer agreed to do a fall photo session with me, Brian, and the dogs for FREE. Any other photographer would charge a minimum of $300 for something like this and then they would bump up the price to $500 after meeting our stubborn bulldogs.

I jumped all over this opportunity. 

I chose not to tell Brian.

When we finally got closer to the day of the free photo sesh, I tried to sneak it into the weekend itinerary when discussing plans. Oh, you know, the baby shower I'm hosting, the shopping trip with my sister, the photo shoot with us and the dogs, dinner at California Pizza Kitchen, and there's that movie I want to see.

And he was like "I'm not doing a photo shoot with you and the dogs."

Curses! 

Foiled again.

After talking it over for a little bit, I could tell this was a battle I was not going to win. We will never have professional family photos. This is my life now.

So, I've been working on some other options. 

(My most "liked" photo ever on Facebook. A selfie. Go figure.)

My best idea yet?
Find a substitute husband.

(You just need brown hair, a t-shirt, and really baggy khakis.)

I'll pay you with 94 leftover Christmas cards.