Eighteen with Puppy

Super Cute:

 Super Embarrassing:

When I was in college, I put zero thought into most of my decisions. (Stop looking so surprised.)

One December day, I decided I wanted a puppy.

The next day, I went out and bought a puppy.

The next day, I took the puppy to my parents' house and gave it to them because I couldn't keep the puppy.

"Here you go, Mom and Dad. She's not yet potty-trained. She sleeps all day. She stays awake all night. Talk to you later....like in five months."

-Me

(That story sounds way too similar to MTV's "Sixteen and Pregnant")

That puppy, Colby, is now a dog and she is my entire world.

She is also my parents' entire world.

Here in lies the problem.

After college, I moved back home with my parents and Colby. Now I'm at that stage in my life where I'm supposed to part with my parents, only now it means parting with Colby as well.

So it looks like I'll be living with my parents another 12-15 years to avoid any custody battles.

Shoot me in the face.

Here's what I'm hoping you will take from this story:

1. Seriously never have kids. You will be responsible for all of their pets.

2. Repeat: Do not have kids. They will unhappily live with you until age 30, and happily take your money until they die.