Kelly Lawrence for Staying Home

In the spirit of election week, today I am unveiling my campaign to stay at home.

Stay at home?

Yes.

Stay at home.

It’d be somewhat similar to a stay-at-home mom, only with no children and with no need to call myself "a" stay-at-home, simply because that’s just plain silly. I’ve never once called myself a go-to-work bank teller (although I might start doing that actually…just for shits ‘n giggles).

Ok, I regress. And confess to my obvious jealousy and slightly offensive remarks.

The following list is the top reasons why I believe I would be a prime candidate for staying home:

1. Morning runs. It is glorious when I am able to roll out of bed, go for a run, take a leisurely shower, and then make my morning coffee. Not so tempting when I have to wake up early and rush to get ready, and more often than not, I end up skipping the run completely in favor of extra sleep.

2. Blogging. I mean, seriously, I need at least two seconds to brainstorm an idea, ten seconds to estimate how many people I’ll be offending, three seconds to think of a new idea, and about 20 minutes to write it. This stuff takes time, people!

3. Cake decorating. Have you noticed how the Cake Decorating link on my blog has not once been used? There is absolutely no time for my passion. And no, I have never actually decorated a cake, but I feel pretty passionate about learning.

4. Baking. I, myself, have an undeniable sweet tooth and nothing makes me happier than being in the kitchen. I live for the holidays--mostly for reasons regarding food--and all holidays deserve festive treats.

These Nutter Butter ghosts and pretzels sticks were made on a day when I was fortunate enough to stay at home. Cute, right?

5. Housekeeping. If I could spend every day at home, the house would be spotless. I am not opposed to doing copious amounts of laundry, scrubbing toilets, and emptying trashcans. I adore a gorgeous, clean, inviting home.

To wrap it up, I would be great staying at home. I’d wake up every day with a smile on my face and a spring in my step, ready to take on the monotonous tasks that lay before me. And if those tasks ever become overwhelming, I am certainly not opposed to the couch, the remote, and a box of bonbons.

Now who votes I quit school?