Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Dog Whisperer

I rarely watch television. Watching television makes me feel like I've wasted valuable time.

Brian and I once turned on an episode of TLC's Hoarders. Three hours and six episodes later, I was surprised that I had wasted that much of my life watching idiots cry over their trash. Honestly, the surge in reality television has proved that people will watch anything. Literally, anything.

My blog traffic has been increasing lately, a fact which I've paralleled to the popularity of television.

"I can't believe I just wasted five minutes of my life reading about Kelly's life."
-You (yesterday)

"I can't believe I'm wasting five minutes of my life reading about Kelly's life."
-You (right now)

Everyday there is a 100% chance that I have nothing interesting to say, and everyday there is a 100% chance that someone out there is reading it.

I've come up with my own original mantra to describe this phenomenon:

"If you write it, they will come."

So this week I'm basing each blog off of a television show.

Get ready for it....get ready for it....get ready for it.....(I came to win.)

THE DOG WHISPERER
Lately, I've been doing some some additional dog training to make Colby even more awesome. Well, it has worked. Prepare yourself to be amazed because I have documented the evidence in the form of photographs.

Colby, I'm going to pour an entire 2lb bag of powdered sugar onto the counter. Now I want you to lie beneath the sugar mountain and act like you're nonchalantly waiting for the mountain to come crashing down onto the floor. Go.



Ok, Colby. This one is harder. I want you to turn your back to the camera, face the flank steak, and pretend you want some. Go.


Perfection.

Alright, Colby. This is the Mac Daddy of all dog tricks. Pretend you don't like carrots.



I'm confident that you can be a dog whisperer, as well, even if your dog isn't yet at Colby's level of obedience.

“There is no such thing as a problem dog. However, there is no shortage of problem owners....”

-Cesar Millan

1 comment:

  1. OK, I know I don't really count, but I spent 5 minutes laughing out loud while reading this over lunch. A great use of 5 minutes and a much-needed respite from dealing with crazy patients! Keep on writing, sweet child of mine! I love you!

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