Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Dog or Human? (Top Five Convincing Reasons)

Some people treat their dogs as their own children.

And some maybe treat their dogs better than their own children (for good reason I might add).

From what I've observed, Colby is like a child in many ways (although she is much faster, more intelligent, and more compliant than her Homo sapian counterpart).

Convincing Reason #5
Children are often very inquisitive and constantly questioning the ways of the world. By her facial expressions and her intense gaze, I know that Colby also ponders philosophically about the world and dares to ask questions that no one else asks. Such as...
"Why is this small Yorkshire Terrier humping me? Didn't y'all get him neutered!?"
"Why bother with the dishwasher if I can clean them for you?"
"Why do black males always make me so nervous?"

Convincing Reason #4
Much like a child, Colby can often be found napping. She needs at least sixteen hours of sleep a day in order to function at her best.

Convincing Reason #3
She has a favorite toy. Her red bull goes with her everywhere.



Convincing Reason #2
Colby always has to be the center of attention. Always, always, always, always. Try doing anything without Colby directly in your path--it's impossible! She definitely suffers from a serious case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).

Convincing Reason #1
I've loved her since the very first day.
From what I'm guessing, a mother loves her needy, whiny, alien-esque baby from Day 1. Most parents spend copious amounts of time and money on their children without ever receiving a "thank you." Colby urinated on my North Face and infested Amy's apartment with fleas on our first day together, but for some inexplicable reason, I still adored the fur ball.

 More proof? She is selfish...
 And stubborn at times....


Yep. She definitely has a human soul.

Colby, thank you for your constant entertainment and your unconditional love. And sorry I compared you to a child--I'm fully aware that you loathe little kids.

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