Thursday, December 2, 2010

On (lack of) Patience

Patience is a virtue...that I do not have.

I've heard it said--good things come to those who wait. Well, I'll take the mediocre if it means instant gratification.

Going back to school has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Really. I just racked my brain for 30 seconds considering all the hard things I've done in my life. That was at the top of the list.

I hate it. I absolutely hate it.

I had graduated college, started my banking career, and loved my job on the teller line. Of course, like all jobs, there were feelings of being over-qualified, under-paid, and frustration at my co-workers when their kids were always "sick." But I had an income, I had freedom during my nights and weekends, and I had vacation days (and an abundance of banking holidays)! I even felt like an actual adult. Sort of.

And then I decided to put my life on hold.

And go back to school.

And take on an incredible amount of debt.

And be flat broke for the next five years (assuming I get accepted).

And assume I'll get accepted.

And you know what they say about those who assume.


This is dangerous, people! My sanity is on the line. Along with my money. And my patience.

Today, in my moment of madness (i.e. About once a day my mind screams something along the lines of WTF ARE YOU DOING, KELLY?!), I did something I don't do often--I read the Bible. Because who better to offer me wisdom and guidance than Jesus Christ.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

So then I prayed for patience.

And sometimes I use curse words when I pray.

So then I prayed again for forgiveness.

This whole "plan" of going back to school and one day being the world's greatest dentist is really causing me to go crazy. Please first and foremost have sympathy--lots and lots of sympathy. And also, if you think about it when you're talking to God, please pray that I don't lose my mind (if I haven't already). Your prayers would be much appreciated and I'll be forever thankful.

Patience with others is love.
Patience with self is hope.
Patience with God is faith. 


Happy Thursday!

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